How to Talk to Anyone | Leil Lowndes
How to Talk to Anyone by Leil Lowndes
92 Little Tricks for big success in relationships.
Let us become even more graceful and efficacious (प्रिणामकारक) in our social interactions, irrespective of the situations. The Author offers us a treasure trove (खजिना) of techniques that will help us be in control and more confident in our communication. Let us uncover these secrets and psychology behind successful communication.
How to Intrigue Anyone Without Saying a Word?
Technique #1: Don’t smile quickly when you meet someone.
Look at the other person’s face for a second, pause, soak in their persona and then give a smile. This will create an impression of a genuine smile.
Technique #2: Have a good eye contact
The person who is communicating will feel that you are interested and will connect with you deeply.
“People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” -Zig Ziglar
When we want to develop a good relationship with someone we are meeting for the first time, greet them as if he/she were an old friend.
When meeting for the first time, do not fidget – which means keep our hand gesture under control. Generally, this happens when we are nervous.
Keep your hands away from your face. Studies have shown that if we touch our face when we talk, it makes us less credible.
How to crack good introductions?
Our tone of the conversation is a welcome mat embossed with either ‘Welcome’ or ‘Go away’! And to welcome the other person, we must learn small talks.
If you are anxious while talking, try not to worry too much about what you are saying, but attempt to match the mood of the other person.
The goal is to put the other person at ease.
What is your answer to “What do you do?”
Don’t just say – I am an accountant, software developer, Software lead, lawyer, entrepreneur, etc.
Don’t let the other person figure out what you do. Elaborate more and tweak the introduction based on whom you meet.
- Example 1:“I am a software developer working at Rian, I help clients unlock their global growth potential by transforming content in their local language. I do this by using my 10+ years of front-end development experience and making the platform seamless for our clients and creative contributors such as translators, reviewers, voice-over artists, etc.”
- Example 2: If I am a lawyer, I can say, “My firm specialises in cross-border transactions. My current case involves working closely with a Japanese company that is evaluating investments in an Indian software services company. I am helping them by creating appropriate share purchase and shareholding agreements and helping them with pre and post-statutory compliances.”
- Example 3: If I am talking to other fellow founders, I will say, “I am an ecosystem builder. I love connecting entrepreneurs with intrapreneurs. It gives me immense pleasure when collaboration becomes meaningful tangible value creation for both the parties.”
What should I say next?
We all go through a stage when we are asked to speak and our mind goes blank. What to do in such a case? Use the parrot principle!
How to do it? Simply repeat the last few words your conversation partner says
Example:
- Client: I am not sure whether Rian’s localization services are right for us.
- You: right for you?
- Client: I am not sure whether it fits our requirements.
- You: Fits your requirement?
- Client: Yes, I need something that I can review easily.
- You: Review easily? Well, you may want to check out our exclusive review panel feature.
Once more! (Encore!) technique
The First Question To Ask
Don’t ask what do you do?
Instead, ask how do you spend most of your time?
This question will give those who are somewhere between not working now and addicted to work a choice of telling about their job or not.
How To Sound Smarter?
Work on your Vocabulary! The world perceives people with rich vocabulary to be more creative and more intelligent. Here are some examples:
The Exclusive Smile
If we flash the same smile to everybody, it loses value.
If the person in a group is more important to you than the others, reserve an especially big, flooding smile (exclusive version) just for him or her.
The flooding smile is the smile that spreads across your whole face and welcomes people to be present with you.
How to have a successful career?
- When you are talking with your seniors, cut to the chase and be direct. They don’t have time to dance around the topic.
- Ask appropriate questions and clarify your doubts wherever possible and required.
- Try to sound professional.
How to express your admiration effectively?
Imagine you meet Ratan Tata at the airport. How would you express your admiration for him?
Sir, you run a great company!
Sir, I just want to tell you how much pleasure your Starbucks Coffee shop has given me over the years. Thank you for bringing Starbucks to India!
How to put across your point clearly?
Evoke your listener’s interests and weave images around it.
How to do it? Use analogies that are related to his/her interest.
Examples:
- For Garden lovers say “sowing the seeds of success”
- For Cricket/Baseball lovers say “let’s hit it out of the park”
- For dog lovers use the phrase “its like a dog with two tails”
How to give compliment effectively?
The compliment one hears is never as exciting as the one he overhears.
The best way to compliment is not to do it directly but through his/her best friend.
The deal always should be win-win
When meeting or pitching to a new customer, don’t portray that he is the only one getting benefitted.
While we might think that this is a polite way, it can come across as disingenuous (कपटी).
Instead, just be transparent (as much as you feel appropriate) and be upfront about the fact that both the client and you will benefit from the deal.
How to make phone calls more exciting?
Our body language and facial expressions comprise more than half of our personality.
If we want to come across as engaging over phone, we must turn our smiles into sound and other gestures into something that our listeners can hear.
How to get them to call you back?
Say something in a voice message that will pique their curiosity.
Example: Hey, hi Gautam, this is Anand. I have some big news about the project we were discussing.
Moving, be like water; still, be like a mirror; respond like an echo. -Bruce Lee
Key Points From How To Talk To Anyone book
With some basic understanding of human nature and people’s habits, we can be a better communicators and can improve our relationships with others.
To move up the ladder of success, give special attention to making an excellent first impression, using non-threatening and positive body language, giving effective praise and preparing for the meeting well in advance.